Daily Golden Girls: 08/06/12

Blanche: You know, Sophia, this birthday thing kinda has me depressed as well. You think you could help me, too?
Sophia: Sure. No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You're old, you sag, get over it.
Blanche: Sophia!
Sophia: So what if you knew Jesus personally? Wake up and smell the coffee, you fossil.
Blanche: My mistake. I thought since you looked like Yoda you were also wise.

Happy Father's Day from the Golden Girls!

Rose: I've found my father! My natural father!
Blanche: He's alive?
Dorothy: He's in Miami?
Sophia: He's an earthling?

Daily Golden Girls: 02/12/12

Blanche: I'll give you anything. I'll give you one of my sons.
Dorothy: Blanche!
Blanche: Dorothy, I've given this a lot of thought. I've had 4 kids, I've never had a Mercedes. So, which one do you want? Biff, Doug, Skippy? No, don't take Skippy, he's got asthma.

Daily Golden Girls: 02/11/12

Blanche: You know what the worst part about getting older is?
Dorothy: Your face, Rose's hands?

Daily Golden Girls: 02/10/12

Dorothy: Rose, what do you call a woman who sleeps with a man on the first date?
Blanche: A damn good sport?

Daily Golden Girls: 02/09/12

Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant?
Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here.
Rose: It looks like a perfume sample.
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.

Daily Golden Girls: 02/08/12

[Dorothy thinks Stan and Blanche are sleeping together]

Rose: Where are you going?
Dorothy: To either get ice-cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.