Daily Golden Girls: 02/12/12

Blanche: I'll give you anything. I'll give you one of my sons.
Dorothy: Blanche!
Blanche: Dorothy, I've given this a lot of thought. I've had 4 kids, I've never had a Mercedes. So, which one do you want? Biff, Doug, Skippy? No, don't take Skippy, he's got asthma.

Daily Golden Girls: 02/11/12

Blanche: You know what the worst part about getting older is?
Dorothy: Your face, Rose's hands?

Daily Golden Girls: 02/10/12

Dorothy: Rose, what do you call a woman who sleeps with a man on the first date?
Blanche: A damn good sport?

Daily Golden Girls: 02/09/12

Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant?
Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here.
Rose: It looks like a perfume sample.
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.

Daily Golden Girls: 02/08/12

[Dorothy thinks Stan and Blanche are sleeping together]

Rose: Where are you going?
Dorothy: To either get ice-cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.

Daily Golden Girls: 02/07/12

Blanche: What are you doing on this elevator?

Sophia: I'm into easy listening, how the hell should I know?

Daily Golden Girls: 02/06/12

Blanche: Sophia, where're you going?
Sophia: To my room.
Rose: But you can't, it could be dangerous!
Sophia: Please, I'm 80! Bathtubs are dangerous!

Daily Golden Girls: 02/05/12

 [Talking about Blanche]

Rose: Wherever she goes, she finds a man!
Sophia: So do hookers.

Daily Golden Girls: 02/04/12

Sophia: I don't like you being taken advantage of by some guy out of town. At least when Blanche does it it's good for tourism.

Daily Golden Girls: 02/03/12

Blanche: If that were true, Rose, then that would mean you were... a slut.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Blanche, how can you say that? So the woman had fifty-six boyfriends in one year. She's not a slut.
Rose: Thank you, Dorothy.
Dorothy: She is The Slut! She is the Grand Poobah of Slutdom! She is the easiest woman in this room!
Blanche: Dorothy Zbornak, you take that back!
Dorothy: The Slut is dead, long live The Slut!

Daily Golden Girls: 02/02/12

[discussing St. Olaf] 

Blanche: You have a museum where children go to learn about cheese?
Rose: Hey, it's better than them learning about it in the streets!

Daily Golden Girls: 02/01/12

[browsing in a bookstore]

Sophia: If you need me, I'll be in the "Bitter Children of Celebrities" section.